The Fire Within
by Deineira
Summary: What did Sam feel like when he changed into a werewolf? Sam/Leah. Oneshot. Companion to "The Course of Love."


**Disclaimer: If this was mine, I wouldn't need this nifty disclaimer!**

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**The Fire Within**

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I stared into the flickering flames of the campfire, a faint smile on my face

I stared into the flickering flames of the campfire, a faint smile on my face. I heard a soft scuffle behind me, shuffling feet moving quickly on the pale sand.

I whipped around, eyes wide. I was shocked to find Paul, a wide grin on his lips, holding hands with yet another girlfriend.

"Paul," I hissed. "What is this?" I felt like the fire I'd been gazing into had burned its way into my heart. I didn't know why, but the sight of him holding hands with the beautiful girl made me very angry, almost furious.

"Sam," he replied, a warning in his voice. "Sam, chill, man."

"Why would I feel like _chilling?_" I spat the words from between my teeth. I could feel my body shaking. The flames inside of me burned brighter.

Paul abandoned the girl and walked a few feet toward me. He grabbed the top of my quivering arm and pulled me off to the side.

"Dude, relax," he ordered in a half-whisper. He gestured at his companion, now wide-eyed with fear. "You're scaring Emily."

"Emily?" My teeth clenched even tighter. I shook off his arm and glared at him.

"You're girlfriend's hot Makah cousin," Paul informed me, a glimmer of lust in his eyes.

It was that spark that really set me off. In disgust I raced away from the campfire, throwing one last glance back at the radiant, fearful Emily.

I sprinted into the woods, feet flying across the ground. The fire inside of me consumed me. The only thought in my mind was anger. It boiled in my heart. A snarl escaped my lips. The flames within me suddenly rose, burning hotter and brighter and bringing pain with them.

I collapsed to the ground, writhing in pain. My muscles throbbed as the hurt flowed like poison through my veins. I felt myself shaking and convulsing on the forest floor.

The fire continued to burn unceasingly for several minutes until it finally ceased, leaving me panting on the ground. I felt strange, like I wasn't even my self. I tried to wipe my forehead but stopped myself after noticing that my arm was covered in a layer of thick black fur.

Anger and fear overcame me and then I was no more.

I was swallowed by a black void. My memories disappeared, and I became no more than an animal, a creature. I lost my humanity. I was a wolf, and nothing more.

Nothing more than a very large, black wolf.

The wolf existed for many days and months. All essence of the person I used to be, the human called Sam, was gone, seemingly forever.

One day, I was running through the forest when I saw a young couple holding each other. I recognized one of them, someone from a past life, perhaps. The female was unfamiliar. Some foreign part of me told me that she was quite pretty.

Memories suddenly flashed before my eyes. A beautiful girl, holding her in my arms… Leah, I remembered. Beautiful, wonderful, perfect Leah.

Suddenly I was moving faster than I thought possible toward a familiar path, a familiar place. I felt myself shaking as I ran, but I ignored it until I was back in this perfect scene.

It was my house, I knew.

I found my human self naked in the backyard. I rushed inside stealthily and put on some clothes, then made my way to the front door. I opened it to find a familiar figure sobbing on the ground.

I enveloped her in my arms, holding her delicately. "Leah," I whispered. "Leah, it's all right."

"Sam?" her wonderful voice replied.

"It's all right," I repeated. "It's okay, honey. "I'm here."

"Sam," she stated.

I stood, taking her with me. I lifted her and opened the door, slamming it behind us and carrying her into my house. I brought her over to the couch and put her down on it. She leaned into me. I wanted to kiss her so badly…

The fire came back, guilt burning brightly in my bones. I looked away, knowing how it made her feel.

"Sam… what is it?" I hated making her worry.

"I'm so awful, Leah," I lied, using every ounce of acting skill that I possessed to make her believe me.

"How are you here, Sam?" she questioned. "I thought you were dead.

"Leah, I wasn't dead. I was never dead." A laughing smile spread on my lips. I reached over and pulled her into my arms, then lifted her onto my lap. I held her there, his face so painfully close to mine. "You, on the other hand, might have been." I brought my mouth to hers and kissed her.

The flames within reacted quickly, spreading through my veins. I wanted her so badly, but… I couldn't. The fire brought itself like bile up into my throat. She tore her mouth away from mine. Was she feeling the same?

"Leah, I love you," I murmured. I wanted to try again.

"I love you, too, Sam," she agreed, tearing herself out of my arms and standing. "But the flames burn hotter than the need." She left me there undecided, with a puzzled expression on my face. I knew exactly what she was talking about.

Later that night, I snuck away to her house. I climbed up its side, all the way to her window. I rapped on it softly.

She opened it quickly and said, "Hello?" Her voice was just as painfully beautiful as before.

"Leah?" I asked softly.

"Yeah," she replied, her voice just as soft. I vaulted through it and listened as she continued. "But… how did you get here, Sam?"

"Climbed," I answered. I hugged her tightly. I brought my lips to her and let the fire burn.

"Sam, what are you doing here?" she questioned as we parted. She sat down on her bed and I joined her there.

"You made me a promise, before I… left," I answered. I waited for her to respond, but she didn't. I continued, "You said that you'd marry me, Leah, in case you've forgotten."

"I know, Sam," she sighed. "But I can't. We're so young, Sam… and I'm afraid that it just wouldn't work. You still haven't answered my question."

"I actually have," I told her, getting off the bed and posing on one knee. I took in a quick breath. "Leah Clearwater, you are the most important thing in my life. I love you more than my own soul. I need you, Leah." I was overcome with the sheer perfection of the moment. "Leah, beloved, will you… will you marry me?"

I showed her the ring I'd commissioned, a beautiful band shaped like a wolf. "Amazing," she murmured, momentarily distracted. I slipped it onto her smooth, delicate brown finger and looked into her eyes pleadingly.

Her answer was sudden and abrupt. "Yes."

I snatched her into her arms and kissed her. The flames inside me burned brightly. I clutched her to me tightly, just wanting to be with her. I abandoned every part of me and opened my heart to her.

I never wanted the kiss to end, but eventually, the fire inside of me finally won, and I had to back away, panting.

"Now, Leah," I told her breathlessly, "I think you'd better get some sleep." I walked carefully to the window, watching for her reaction.

"Don't go," she begged. I wore my poker face for a few moments and turned back to her bed. "We are engaged, Sam," she went on, even though I had made my decision.

"That we are, dearest," I agreed. I ripped the covers down quickly and gestured for her to get in. A slow smile spread across her face as she joined me in bed.

I held her in my arms nearly all night. I wanted so badly to kiss her, but I couldn't, and I knew it. She needed sleep so badly, and I couldn't stand to tear that away from her.

Days passed. We shared kisses and laughter and happiness in general. All I needed was to be with her forever. I stayed with her at night, kissing her half the time and talking for all the rest.

But all through the night, through every touch and every motion, the fire within burned on.

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**_A.N. You like? My very first oneshot… I might make it longer later. Right now it's a little confusing, I know, and very short… but I think I got it right. This corresponds with a few chapters in _The Course of Love, _the story I'm currently absorbed in._**

_**You tell me! Review! **_


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